Affective Relations and Comfort Zone
If there is an área that the comfot zone is the most destructive, it is in the affective relationships. Since in this case the growth dynamic of two persons is involved, both need to grow at the same pace. And this rarely happens.
People do not realize where they are when they meet; in a situation that there is the Uncertainty Principle occurring. Position and Momentum.
The position shows how the person is living. What is your mental, emotional, financial, professional, affective, etc. but we don´t know what is your Momentum, your pace of growth in all areas.
When the momentum of one is larger than the other, they can live for a while without apparent problems. This time is normally short. Nowadays, in two or three months it is possible to evaluate this and the relationships end. If it lasts more than that it is because one of them has decided to postpone the end.
However, as much as the time passes, more distant they get from one another. It is because the different momentum causes this, unavoidably. Think about two different angles of growth and you will see the distance between them after some time.
At the beginning, when they meet, they share for a while a certain position. It is a small part of time, whish soon disappears as the both´s momentum speed up.
And this will happen in a way or another, unless both create a wrapped hierarchy, where they mutually stimulate to grow together. And the answer to both is to give the most of themselves in their personal growth. This way they can enter in the same momentum and this can be eternized.
If both think about postponing the end of the relationship, the dynamic action of the Universe will make they get a move on. This is what is called Theory of Chaos. So one of them starts to grow. The Universe is a place of nonstop growth. To go against this is to get into trouble, definitely.
There is other question. The Principle of Equity. Some American physcologists´ studies have prooved that. Rating both in a 1 to 10 scale, there can be no greater difference than two points between both. If this happens, the relationship is not viable. What can happen between a restaurant waitress and an executive? There can be sex, but when it comes the time that he has to introduce her to his mother, the situation becomes a little complicated.
In this way, it is necessary to verify that the distance is bigger than two points in every area of life: mental, emotional, professional, education, spiritual, affective, etc. because in the average, there can be two points, but if there is a very big difference in one of the aspects, the relationship will be compromised.
Why does the momentum finish the relationships? Because of the comfort zone. The fact that people don´t care about themselves and everything that is necessary to be done, causes this difference. In practice, how does this work?
It is necessary to read books from different areas, simultaneously. Difficult books. To refine and clean the emotions without stop, eliminating the blocks, traumas, knots, taboos, prejudices, self-sabotage, unreal paradigm, etc.
Uniting with the Whole more each day.
Letting the ego aside more each day.
Thinking about the other’s good more than in yourself.
Giving more than you receive.
Growing your affection and sexuality without stop.
And here we have a serious problem, unsolved by humanity until now. If it exists, what is this taboo. And why is this a taboo? Because it is here that the affectivity and love are. And it is necessary to give. It is necessary to lay down the wapons. It is necessary to be human. It is necessary to think in the other´s pleasure. It is necessary to make with love and not mechanically. It is necessary to make the feeling deeper even more. The intimacy has to grow without stop.
What do we see in today´s humanity? A sexual relation ends when one of both has an orgasm! And since it is necessary some minutes for this to happen, you know how the affectivity is. Zero! This is the rule.
Every therapist that listens to his clients´ truth can prove that. The rest is a social lie. This is the bare truth.
And this contaminates all the rest in a person´s life. They think that the areas are independent. I can live sexually in a way and professionally in other. Actually, everything is connected and when something is not good, it will affect all the rest. Either we evolute in general or we´ll have issues.
You can see the state of humanity today and the current sexual taboo. It is one thing. All the crisis in every areas and the affective/ sexual problems are one single thing. That is why it is so difficult to solve the crisis. That is why there is so much resistance to solve the problems. Why does nobody want to change this area?
While humanity does not face this, leaving the taboos and prejudices, there will be no solution, because there will be not real love between humans.
To make love has a much wider function that what is imagined today. The energies involved are sacred, divine. It is urgent and necessary to review these concepts. Sex is sacred. It has to be made as a divine act. Between two sacred sparks. What does a divine spark do? It gives itself with no stop.